


it drives you crazy, getting old; soonhoon

by kwanies



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Drabble, M/M, Soonhoon - Freeform, i was listening to lorde and then this happened, soonyoung's also the sweetest bf ;((, super short !!!!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2019-07-18
Packaged: 2020-07-08 04:56:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19863850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kwanies/pseuds/kwanies
Summary: the waves turn to white noise, lapping at the back of his mind. they froth at the shore and swallow up all his thoughts, churning, churning, hurting. he has a headache. he feels old. he feels like he’s running out of time. he feels like he might as well run into the ocean now, sink to the bottom where time doesn’t exist and the whole world will wait for him to never reappear.“you’re quiet,” soonyoung interrupts his train of thought. “what’s on your mind?”or, the one where jihoon has a tendency to overthink and worry, but soonyoung's always there to make things better.





	it drives you crazy, getting old; soonhoon

it’s sort of pretty, in a way. almost poetic. there’s a soft breeze tugging at his shirtsleeves and pushing his hair into his eyes, little tufts of cotton candy as pink as the sky, faded after being washed so many times. _i can’t believe you’re making me do this._ jihoon smiles to himself a little, remembering. _i’d never in a million years plan on dyeing my hair this color, and somehow you got me to do it._

_it’s ‘cause you love me! and i think you know pink hair would be cute on you._

he can feel the sand between his toes. he’d kicked off his shoes a while ago, rolling up his pants and walking along that edge of the beach where the sand is wet and packed together. every now and then he looks down to see his own footprints left behind. _the water will wash them away_ , he thinks. _everything gets washed away, eventually._

his youth, the brightest days of his life stuck behind him and growing further and further away with every minute that passes, fading. he’s older today than he was yesterday. he’ll never be as young as yesterday, not again.

he jumps a little when someone nudges his shoulder. his heart jumps a little when he hears the laugh. soonyoung hands him a cone.

“i know you said you didn’t want one, but i couldn’t buy myself an ice cream and just watch you empty-handed while i eat it.”

“ah, you’re such a gentleman.”

“thanks,” he grins. “i try.”

they walk together, quietly like that. neither of them really says anything. jihoon almost forgets he’s even holding his ice cream until it starts to melt all over his hand; soonyoung’s already nearly finished his.

the waves turn to white noise, lapping at the back of his mind. they froth at the shore and swallow up all his thoughts, churning, churning, hurting. he has a headache. he feels old. he feels like he’s running out of time. he feels like he might as well run into the ocean now, sink to the bottom where time doesn’t exist and the whole world will wait for him to never reappear.

“you’re quiet,” soonyoung interrupts his train of thought. “what’s on your mind?”

jihoon almost says _nothing_ , but he knows soonyoung and soonyoung knows him, and there’s no way he’s going to believe that, so jihoon might as well save his breath.

“do you ever feel like … like everything’s passing too quickly? like there’s only so much time on your hands and - and you’re wasting all of it. like pretty soon, there won’t be any left.”

“hm,” soonyoung hums, taking jihoon’s ice cream from him, because it’s clear at this point that he’s not going to finish it, and clasping their palms together. part of jihoon cringes at the sticky feeling between their fingers. the rest of him just feels warm. “i think,” he says, “you’re worrying too much.”

“but i’m not,” jihoon insists. “things keep happening, and they’re happening so fast, and i’m - what am i doing, soonyoung? i don’t know. i don’t know what i even _want_ to do, and the more time i spend trying to figure it out the less i’ll have left, in the end.”

“jihoon, you’re nineteen.”

“and only getting older.”

“you’re crazy.”

“i’m not.”

soonyoung stops, then, anchoring jihoon to one spot with the weight of their hands between them, and he leans forward until he’s close enough for their foreheads to touch. he speaks, and his breath feels cool.

“yes, you are. you’re crazy. you’re young, and you’re smart and beautiful and you’ve got so much potential, and so much time, and you’re crazy to think that you don’t.”

the sand, the waves. the birds flying overhead and squawking at the clouds. soonyoung’s voice is so mellow, gentle, low and slow and all sorts of reassuring, and it isn’t long before jihoon can feel himself starting to shake. soonyoung brushes his nose against his and whispers, “it’s okay, you’re okay,” and jihoon’s voice breaks.

“i just - don’t know what i’m doing.”

they’re the only two people on the beach, save for a few older couples scattered throughout. he thinks he can feel the sky wrapping itself around them; sunset colors, watercolors, blending together and caccooning them in comfort. or maybe that’s just soonyoung, with his arms wrapped around his waist all of a sudden. there’s a flock of birds a couple feet down, fighting for the cone he decided to throw away.

“you don’t have to know what you’re doing,” he whispers. “not right now. you can make spontaneous decisions, you can do nothing at all - it doesn’t matter, none of it matters as long as your happy. are you happy?”

“wh-what?”

“right now, with me, are you happy?” jihoon sniffs, pulling away only so that he can swipe at his nose.

“i’m always happy when i’m with you.” soonyoung seems to like that answer.

“good news, then - i’m not going anywhere.”

they keep walking from there, until they’ve reached this spot where the beach ends and the pavement starts, and even then they don’t stop. jihoon holds his sneakers in one hand and is careful not to hit the ground too hard with his bare feet, bumping shoulders every now and then with soonyoung. at one point, the latter asks, “are you going to dye your hair again?”

“fuck no.”

“oh my god, but the pink is _so_ cute on you.”

“you say that about everything i try.”

“you make everything look cute.”

“shut up.”

he thinks back on what soonyoung had said. _spontaneous decisions._ like dyeing his hair. as much as he might complain about it, jihoon actually sort of likes the color. he likes the look of soonyoung’s smile every time he sees it even more. spontaneous decisions like walking out to the beach for no reason other than they felt like it, and how it started kind of sour but turned into something sweet. spontaneous decisions.

like now, when jihoon decides to stand on his toes and press a quick kiss to the corner of soonyoung’s eye. like when soonyoung freezes for a second and oggles at him, and he laughs, and then kisses him on the mouth, instead.

spontaneous decisions. because not everything has to be planned out, and jihoon might worry about his future and all the days gone by but he still has soonyoung by his side, and more than anything, that’s what he cares about.

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: 04ngel  
> twitter: cheniuvrs


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